Let's stomach some WHITE PIZZA lest we should become forlorn, embittered shrews by Tiffany Carter

Dough:

- 1 PACKAGE ACTIVE DRY OR FRESH YEAST
- 1 TSP HONEY
- 1 CUP WARM WATER (105-115° F)
- 3 CUPS FLOUR
- 1 TSP KOSHER SALT
- 1 TBSP OLIVE OIL (OR CHILI OR GARLIC OIL) + A BIT MORE FOR BRUSHING
- A BIT OF DRIED ROSEMARY AND/OR GROUND SINSEMILLA

Sauce:

- 1/4 CUP + 1 TBSP EXTRA VIRGIN OLIVE OIL
- 2-10 CLOVES OF GARLIC, MINCED
- 1/2 SMALL SWEET ONION, DICED
- 1/4 TSP DRIED OREGANO
- 1/4 TSP DRIED BASIL
- 1/4 TSP MARJORAM
- 1/4 TSP RED PEPPER FLAKES

Toppings:

- SUNDRIED TOMATOES
- FRESH TOMATOES
- ONION
- SHREDDED CHEDDAR AND MOZZARELLA. CRUMBLED FETA.

STATE OF AFFAIRS:

1) Your turkey is exploring other gullets. He is not coming home for Christmas, emergencies or naps, no matter how much you plead, rage or change.

2) Woebegone and deranged, you are provisionally animate and a bit randy.

3) Pizza is easy or easy to come by and good, acceptable or perfect, like God’s will.

DOUGH:

1) Dissolve the yeast and honey in a small bowl with ¼ cup of the water.

2) Combine flour, salt, rosemary and marijuana in another bowl and pour in the oil and honey yeast water.

3) Mix with a fork until it curls into a ball, taking the space it needs from the sides of the bowl and you.

4) Knead the dough for 2-3 minutes.

5) Cover it with a damp cloth and allow it to swell for 30 minutes unpestered in a warm place.

6) Cleave the dough into two mounds and choose a favorite. Don’t apologize. Work it by pulling the sides down and tucking them under the bottom. Repeat 4-5 times on a smooth, unfloured surface.

7) Roll the bald mass under the palm of your hand until the ball is smooth and firm— about one minute. Cover with a damp towel and ignore attentively (flirt) for 15-20 minutes.

SAUCE:

1) In your coffee grinder, mix half of the ¼ cup olive oil, half of the bulk of the garlic and half of the spices.

2) Do this again.

3) Heat the tablespoon of olive oil in a small saucepan and sauté the remaining garlic and onion for a couple of minutes until feeble.

4) Mix 1, 2 and 3 together.

DATE:

1) Make your oven clean, warm and inviting, smell pleasant and don’t wear panties.

2) Dip the ball of dough into flour, shaking off excess, and begin to stretch it. Press on the center and spread it into an 8-inch circle with the outer border a little fatter than the inner circle.

3) Spoon on sauce and rub it around, then strew toppings haphazardly.

4) Bake for 10-12 minutes.

5) Enjoy reservedly, suppressing your awareness of the sour inevitable.

6) You will be hungry again tomorrow.