Welcome Mr. Guiri

by Isolda Dosrius Déulafeu

Em declaro en vaga.

This is not my monthly column. This is my declaration of principles. 1st of May, the workers day. Ha! Who decided the workers have an own day? Can you tell me who? Why? The proletarian must work, not having days off. Then, who will increase the capital? Ha! The workers day. A treballar, colla de ganduls!

Ah! És clar, years ago a few women died in a flaming factory, yes? Or...to celebrate it, someone invented the Women’s Day? Bah! It doesn’t matter... Strange behavior: to celebrate the tragedies. It’s better to shut up your mouths, proletarian, shut up and then the foreman let you tranquils. It’s so easy: you have only to work. No thinking, no wishes, we only pay you for working –but if I could, neither that I would!

Is it such difficult to understand? Don’t you have enough with the 40 hours per week? With 2 days off per week? With your double payment in summer and in Christmas? Isn’t it enough with your 30 days for vacation? What else do you want, proletarian? The 1st of May? I feel the ancient contractors didn’t had an iron hand...

But I’m not able to change the past... I per més INRI, there are a lot of low cost travel agencies, and then you can fly to the Pacific islands. Do you know this was an exclusive privilege of mine and of the aristocrats? Low cost flights... And then, and then... then the guiri students come here. The guiri students, the next class of new proletarian. Ha, ha, ha! What can we expect from them? They only want la fiesta. Wow! Their parents pay for them all expenses. And if by chance they need to work, they only work teaching languages 4 or 5 hours per day. Ha! They make laugh me.

I want to see them in the future with all adult responsibilities. They wouldn’t accept to work in a factory or in an office like a secretary. This kind of job is so ordinary. Sure in the future they want to be creators, painters, designers or, in the best case, writers. They don’t love to get their hands dirty. What they know about the hard work life? Nothing.

Look at the USAnian or German students, they always say this or that never would happen in their countries, they always say in their països all ever is better than here. Then, què carall fan aquí? They hinder: they train themselves in laziness. Shut up! You’re living here, if you don’t like it, go back to your country… Why aren’t you on strike, guiris? Maybe then you won’t come here.

But today I’m on strike. It’s fun.

Proletarian, don’t you also have that right? Me too. It’s so easy to say: “Today we don’t work because we want more claims”. I want the privilege to pay less for your work, the privilege to sack you when I want. For all these things, this is my own day. Then the First of May is “The LF’s Day”, not yours.